Imagine the outrage if this was the case
Scared for your health?
Look no further… I’m a nutritionist 👍😁
I’ll be round tomorrow (whether you like it or not) to give you a complete health overhaul.
You adhering to my guidelines will significantly reduce the likelihood of you contracting any contagious lurgies & therefore passing them onto the elderly & those with compromised immune systems, as well as helping to take the strain off our beloved NHS.
No big deal.
It’s ‘just’ looking after your health.
Here’s what we’ll do…
I’ll begin by rifling through your fridge & freezer, removing from your house any processed ‘food’, any alcohol, any cigarettes, any sugar, anything containing sugar, any commercial wheat products, dairy products that aren’t raw, & anything that isn’t organic.
If you choose to eat out, I’ll chaperone.
I’ll also have a root around under your sink & remove any carcinogenic & environmentally damaging cleaning products.
Next I’ll find your bathroom & remove anything containing any item on my long list of toxic chemicals (which I’ll stick on your fridge on my way out for future reference).
I’ll replace your WiFi with a wired internet system & install blue light screens & emf protectors on all devices.
You’ll be expected to wear crystals.
I’ll leave you a heap of books on personal & spiritual growth for you to increase your self-awareness, I’ll book you in for some energy healing & teach you how to breathe properly & smudge.
You’ll be happy to obey orders regarding daily exercise, a minimum of 2.5 hours of fresh air daily (rain or shine), weekly colon cleansing, daily skin brushing, 3 x weekly castor oil packing, daily cold showers, daily green juices, a supplement regime, a variety of fermented foods, cooking everything from scratch & what the hell – drinking your own urine. 🥂
Oh, & no vaccinations.
In the unlikely event that you were to get ill, I’ll put you in touch with a wonderful homeopath.
Of course, you can choose to listen to & take the advice of the anti-health conspiracy theorists that believe I’m trying to harm you; you can put your trust in companies with the biggest criminal history of medical fraud the world has ever known, their ‘peer-reviewed’ pseudoscience & genocidal ‘health’ suggestions that read like something from a list of prison torture tactics, such as experimental chemical injections, social isolation, oxygen deprivation & fear-porn, if you wish.
However, if you do not comply with my expectations, you will lose friends, family, access to various events & establishments, & probably your job.
Many will call for your complete removal from society on account of you being anti-health & therefore a danger to everyone else, despite them having complied beautifully & therefore being confidently protected from illness.
Given that I own the media & bribe the government, I will naturally be supported by the masses, so do expect to hear much of the following everywhere you go…
“Just take the fucking enema & we’ll all be free.”
“Greggs is off-limits to urine therapy refuseniks; sorry.”
“You only ran one mile this morning? Tell that to the people in ICU.”
“Want to travel? Proof of chakra alignment, please.”
If you still have the audacity to take issue with these measures, I will threaten you with heavy fines & imprisonment.
Any radical extremist language such as ‘you do you, I’ll do me’, or dangerous, misleading catchphrases such as ‘bodily autonomy’ will be immediately censored, as I will not accept terrorism.
In these instances, for the safety of all, I will reconsider your right to an opinion of your own.
I can assure you there is absolutely nothing weird, creepy or remotely fucked up about this co-dependent, dictatorial, guilt-bashed submission approach to health.
If you believe otherwise, you really should reconsider whether your place on this planet is worthwhile or justifiable.
With the mind-bogglingly absurd state of absolute nonsense that our world has descended into, many of us find ourselves yelling to anyone who’ll listen, ‘where is the fucking outrage??? WHERE???’
Sometimes I tell myself it’s not that people are choosing to look the other way for an easy life, it’s just that they can’t, for whatever reason, make a stand.
But then I think no, it can’t be that.
I know it’s in them…
Because imagine if THIS was the current dictatorial approach to a global health crisis.
Imagine the outrage if this was the case.
How ironic is that?